How to respond to a nasty email:

Published May 6, 2010 by Eli Stutz

Dear ________,

My email server has a function which deletes emails that contain offensive content. I received a message that your email message to me was deleted for that reason. Occasionally, the server makes mistakes, and deletes emails which are completely innocuous without good reason. I assume that this was the case with your message, since I know you to be an extremely polite person who would never write anything remotely offensive.

Therefore, could you please resend your message to me; I very much hope that it gets through this time. If there were any words in the original message which might have accidentally set the system off, I advise you to remove them this time.

I should warn you that if a second offensive email is sent by the same sender, my server automatically deploys a highly volatile and destructive malware agent to the sender’s mail inbox, which would effectively wipe out your system and delete most (if not all) of your files.

Thank you and I hope I have not caused any undue inconvenience.

Kind regards,

Eli Stutz

Watch the amazing trailer for my book PICKLE IMPOSSIBLE at


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