Best Before and Best After

Published January 18, 2010 by Eli Stutz

Some foods are best before a certain date, like Milk. If it’s past the date, it’s goodbye milk.  And then there are things that are just, well…Best Before. No date. It was good once, but now, whatever the date is, it’s just not good anymore. So here is my top 10 list of things that are simply Best Before:

10. Old jokes.

9. Beta video.

8. Commodore.

7. Vicks.

6. Boondogle.

5. Catskills.

4. Pancakes, pizza, and french fries after an hour.

3. Words like: radical, bogus, groovy.

2. My car.

and the number 1 thing that is Best Before is…

1. Old chewing gum.

Then of course, there are some things that just get better and better, or are just better after they’ve happened. These things are…Best After. So here is my top 10 list of Best After things:

-we’ll go onward and upward with the numbers here…-

1. Ice breakers.

2. Wine.

3. Marshmallows.

4. A good night’s sleep.

5. A great joke.

6. Burps.

7. Passing the annual car test/final exam/driving test/law bar.

8. Rain.

9. The dentist.

And the number 10 thing that is Best After is…

10. Hug and make up (both kinds).

That’s all for now folks!

Eli

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