Foolaini and the Cat’s Eye

Published September 25, 2009 by Eli Stutz

Cat3Foolaini is the world’s most devious thief. Thankfully he does not steal anything…any more.

That is because Foolaini is a reformed character. After three years in a Paris prison he decided to use his deceitful and conniving talents for the good of society.

That morning, Foolaini was eating his favorite cereal (Bois D’or Crunch), when he read the headline:

Cat’s Eye Ruby Robbed!

The newspaper said that Princess Laquardia of Liechtenstein was up in arms that the famous Cat’s Eye Ruby had been stolen.

The Cat’s Eye Ruby was a precious stone had been in her family for generations. Its center was the shape of a cat’s eye.

Now it was gone!

“Who could have stolen that fabulous jewel?” Foolaini asked himself.

Foolaini made up his mind to find the thief.

“I will use my sneaky skills to trap this villain,” he declared.

The very next day, Foolaini arrived at the palace of Princess Laquardia.

But being a master of disguise nobody noticed him.

He was disguised as Princess Laquardia’s toothbrush!

When Princess Laquardia went to brush her teeth, how great was her surprise when a voice said,

“Do not put me in your mouth, Princess!”

“Who are you?!” asked the startled princess, as she put Foolaini down and he removed his disguise.

“I am Foolaini, the former master thief” he said, “tell me how you lost the Cat’s Eye Ruby – I intend to find it!”

Princess Laquardia was beside herself, but she quickly realized that she was in the presence of a remarkable person.

“I keep the jewel under my pillow every night,” she said. “Last night was the same as every night, but in the morning, it was gone.”

“Did anything unusual happen yesterday?” asked Foolaini.

“Why, yes,” said Princess Laquardia, “my cat Shooki went missing. I suspect that whoever took my jewel also made off with him.”

Foolaini put on his thinking cap. He thought hard.

Then he said, “What does your cat like to eat most?”

“Shooki is crazy for cheese,” said the Princess. “camembert cheese is his absolute favorite”.

“I see,” said Foolaini. “I have a plan. I will find the burglar and bring back your jewel. Just let me stay in your palace tonight.”

“All right,” said the Princess uncertainly, “but please be careful not to disturb anyone.”

“Do not worry, your highness,” said Foolaini. “nobody will see me – I am a master of disguise!”

Foolaini left the palace and spent a few hours searching for something in a nearby forest.

Then, he paid a visit to the Royal Cheese Factory, the most famous cheese factory in all of Liechtenstein.

The Royal Cheesemaster looked at Foolaini with suspicion.

“Why should I help you?” he said. “You once robbed me of my finest batch of Parmesan cheese.”

“I admit it,” said Foolaini, lowering his head, “but I have come to make it up to you.” He raised his eyes.

“How?” asked the Cheesemaster.

“But helping you make the most exquisite batch of camembert cheese ever tasted!” declared Foolaini.

The Cheesemaster smiled. “With what?

Foolaini produced a bag from the folds of his cloak. “With this!” he exclaimed, pouring the contents onto the table.

The Cheesemaster gasped. “It is the Penecillium Camamberti,” he said, “that rare fungus that makes camembert cheese.”

“Indeed,” said Foolaini. It was now his turn to smile.

As the sun set, Foolaini made his way into the palace.

Of course, nobody noticed him. He was disguised as a broom.

His disguise was so convincing, that Annette, Princess Laquardia’s maid picked him up and started to sweep the princess’s bedroom with him.

Foolaini sneezed. Annette yelped and dropped him.

“Shhh…” said Foolaini, “I am deep under cover.”

“Zounds!”, said Annette, “I could have sworn you were a broom. You really are a devious fellow!”

Foolaini decided to hide as one of the slippers under Princess Laquardia’s bed. Princess Laquardia came in. She did not notice Foolaini. She got into bed and went to sleep. Foolaini did not sleep. He was watching the open window. Quiet as a slipper, he slipped out from under the bed and sprinkled something on the window ledge. Then, he returned to his hiding spot.

It was getting late. Outside, an owl hooted. Just then, a slinky figure crept onto the window ledge. The figure began to eat the crumbs that Foolaini had sprinkled.

“Aha!” cried Foolaini, jumping up from under the bed, and turning on the lights.

Princess Laquardia woke up with a start – “What’s going on?” she demanded.

Foolaini picked up the slinky figure. “I have found Shooki, your cat. See, he has eaten the camembert cheese I have sprinkled! Clearly whoever has stolen the Cat’s Eye Ruby has used him to pull off the job. We have only to follow Shooki and he will lead us to the thief!”.

Princess Laquardia looked at the cat.

“But this cat is not Shooki,” she said. “This is our neighbor’s cat – Selena. Selena is a girl cat, as anybody can tell. Shooki is a boy cat. You have not solved anything.” Princess Laquardia petted Selena on the head and shooed her out of the window.

Foolaini turned red. “I apologize, your highness. I will redouble my efforts. You have my word that I will find your cat and your jewel by tomorrow night.”

The next day, Foolaini disguised himself as one of the palace chefs. The other chefs stared in wonder as he worked. “What on earth is he baking?” they asked each other. Had you been standing outside the palace kitchen that day, you would have smelled extraordinary smells coming out of it.

By the evening, Princess Laquardia was at her wit’s end. “I should never have trusted that mischievous fellow Foolaini to find my Cat’s Eye Ruby – he used to be a thief himself – perhaps he took it.” The Princess was so furious at this thought that she decided to take a walk in the palace garden to cool off. Imagine her surprise when she saw an enormous cake in the middle of the garden!

“What is such an outrageously large cake doing in my garden?” she asked herself.

A nearby garden hose answered her, “This camembert cake will help us solve the crime.”

Princess Laquardia jumped – since when do garden hoses speak?

“Do not be alarmed, you highness, it is I, Foolaini,” said Foolaini, undisguising himself.

“You really do pick the most absurd disguises, sir,” she said. “but how will this cake trap the villain?”

“There is no time to explain,” said Foolaini, “Quick! We must hide.”

Foolaini led the Princess to a nearby fountain. He jumped in, and motioned for her to follow.

“I’m not hiding in that!” she protested, “there are fish in there.”

“Do you want your cat and your jewel back?” asked Foolaini.

“Yes,” nodded the Princess.

“Then you must trust me,” he said.

Princess Laquardia held her nose and jumped into the fountain beside Foolaini. Foolaini disguised himself and the Princess as fountain fish. Needless to say, the Princess was quite uncomfortable.

The moon rose. A bat flitted overhead.

“Look!” said Foolaini to the Princess, pointing to the cake.

Several slinky figures were approaching the cake. Two of them climbed to the top of it. The other figures moved in a circle around it.

Foolaini grabbed the Princess’s hand and jumped out of the fountain.

“Mazel Tov!” he declared, brandishing a flashlight and pointing it at the top of the cake. Two cats could be seen touching noses there. One of them was Selena. And the other one was-

“Shooki!” cried the Princess. “But who are these other cats? What does this all mean?”

“You should be happy, Princess,” said Foolaini, “Shooki has found his beloved. He and Selena are getting married! They have invited all of their feline friends to the occasion-” Foolaini indicated the circle of cats. “They even have a wedding cake. And look at he what Shooki has found as a wedding ring…”

“The Cat’s Eye Ruby!” exclaimed the Princess, picking up Shooki. “Shooki! How could you – but you know how much this jewel means to me! It was a present from my father. And how I worried about you!”

“May I suggest an alternative, Shooki?” said Foolaini, brandishing a fountain fish.

Shooki and Selena smelled the fish. Selena purred. Shooki nudged her and the two of them ate the fish together.

The rest of the cats, began to dance around the cake.

“Dig in, my love birds,” said Foolaini, “this cake is my wedding present to you!”

The cats needed no more urging on. After all, camembert was Shooki’s favorite, and any cat likes cheese cake, as everyone knows. Soon, they were all a mess of white cream and fur.

“How can I ever thank you for finding my cat and my jewel -” said the Princess, turning to Foolaini.

But her mouth opened in surprise as she saw that he was gone.

“Goodbye, Princess,” said something that looked very much like a bat, flying away overhead, “and remember to keep your window closed at night…”.

The Princess’s look of shock turned to a smile – that Foolaini really was a devious fellow.

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