This morning I woke up with an idea – I’m in Toronto – the Queen is visiting, why not do something really impossible and present my book to her.

I didn’t actually think this could happen, but after ascertaining that the Queen would be doing one last public appearance at Queen’s Park, where Ontario’s Legislature sits, and that she would be trying to ‘see as many Canadians as possible before she leaves’, I decided ‘oh well, why not’, I’ll just go down there and give it a try. Sitting on the subway, I wrote a note to Her Majesty on the inside cover of the book, humbly presenting the story to her as a gift, and hoping that she would enjoy it. ‘This story made my four-year-old son laugh, and I hope that it amuses you too. If that can happen, then anything is possible’, I wrote.

Soon, I joined the throngs of well-wishers and fans on the green grass of Queen’s Park, all of whom were trying to gauge where the Queen would walk and if they were positioned to see her best. After placing myself in about a dozen locations, I settled myself behing an elderly lady, right behind the barricade in a place where a policeman confided ‘I’m told she’ll pass this way’.

The lady in front of me encouraged me to just stick my hand out with the book as the Queen went by, saying that I reminded her with my bright face of her own grandson, who is also a writer. I told the policeman referred to above of my intention to present the Queen with my book, and he promptly said, ‘it’s not going to happen’. But a minute later the Queen did appear, coming our way, and with my heart in my throat I extended my hand (the elderly lady bent down to let me through) and said in a clear voice, ‘Your majesty, I’d like to present you with my first book. I hope it makes you laugh and I hope you can read it on your flight.’ The Queen smiled, took the book in her hand and moved along her way, a copy of Pickle Impossible in tow!

The onlookers beside me were beside themselves and congratulated me, saying things like ‘wow, she usually only takes only flowers!’

In the next few days I received several pictures from some very nice bystanders who happened to take a snapshots at the exact right moment:

I very much hope Her Majesty enjoys reading about Pierre and Aurore and will be very happy to present my next novel to her when it comes out. I am honored and thrilled.

And I hope to continue to do ‘impossible things’ here in Toronto and beyond. Next up, perhaps – reading Pickle while standing on thin air!

Absolutely thrilled,

Eli

I’m so thrilled to have stumbled upon the first real live seriously fantastic review of Pickle Impossible on a website for families! Click here to check it out:

And getting nice feedback from parents and kids all over.

Keep pickling!

Eli

Hello Dear Readers,

It is I, Aurore, the fabulous star of Pickle Impossible! I am overjoyed to tell you that this book is impossibly fantastic and ridiculously incredible!! Now, perhaps you are thinking, Aurore is the narrator, she is biased, why should we believe her? Well, I see that you have an inquisitive mind. But let me assure you, everything I say is the absolute truth! In that case (now that you believe me), I will say that not only is Pickle Impossible a wild, cool, fun, funny, surprisingly deep, intelligent, witty, engaging, beautiful, lovable, adorable, exquisite, pristine, perfect in every way, 110% solid gold…story, but it also will entice, surprise, cajole, shock, tickle, rattle, uplift, rejuvenate, enliven, and literally sweep you off you feet! And if you happen to be that Hollywood producer that is considering right now phoning me up to ask me to star in a movie about the book, you can be rest assured that yes, I will win Best Actress for my role, and yes, this movie project will be a watershed, a turning point, a climax, a zenith, a summit, a revolution, a landmark, a coup, a piece d’resistance, a masterpiece, a out-of-the-park home run, and we should get to work on it as soon as imaginably possible! The rest of you will have to wait for this to happen, but you can console yourselves by reading the book from cover to cover several times, and enjoying a cornichon (pickle) or two as you do.

So, so, so delighted to be writing you, good reader! I look forward to meeting you on the page, and soon, on the silver screen!

All the very best,

The Great Aurore

P.S. Pierre agrees with every word I have written (and says a polite ‘bonjour’ to you all). He would write a review as well, but he is really a very simple boy, and the review would be five words, no more.

And here are the winner’s of the Prickliest Pickle Contest….(drumroll)…

1st Place: Wendy Lawrence! Congratulations on an awesomely prickly pickle! You get a free signed copy of PICKLE IMPOSSIBLE!
Runners up: Bryan Stutzman and Marlo Iancona Berliner! Super sticky pickles too! You get a query letter critique from me or Elana!

And a pat on the back to all entries, which were great fun to read.

We will be in touch with the winners, who are asked to contact Elana and I to coordinate their prizes.

Here is the winning entry by Wendy:

What a pickle!

Thanks to all the participants and congrats, Wendy!

Eli

Happy release day, PICKLE IMPOSSIBLE! To celebrate the release of my debut novel, I’m holding a contest over on my Facebook fan page. Want in? Yes you do! Because we’re giving away these prizes:

■First Prize: A signed copy of PICKLE IMPOSSIBLE and a partial manuscript critique from Elana Roth, my literary agent.
■Runners Up: A query letter critique from Elana and me.

All you have to do is…tell us about the prickliest pickle you’ve ever gotten yourself caught up in. How easy is that? Surely you’ve gotten stuck in a sticky situation of some kind. Now it can win you something!

Rules:

1.Become a fan of PICKLE IMPOSSIBLE on Facebook.
2.Leave your pickle of a situation on the wall.
3.Contest closes on Friday May 28th at noon Eastern time.

Go forth!

Hi All!

Just looking forward to Pickle Impossible release day…tomorrow!! Stay tuned for a deviously brilliant book giveaway contest, which just may shatter your perception of everything and anything! Go Aurore! Go Pierre!

And please look out for the book in bookstores. A shilling for the first lad or lass to confirm an acual, real live book store siting! (A virtual shilling, that is – or who knows, maybe even a real one – got to dig into my British coin collection).

And now’s definitely the time to place your order. I really, really need your vote – so order early and often! My Dad, who faithfully placed an order a while ago already had his copy delivered. Click here to order now.

Finally, please, please send around the trailer to your friends on Facebook, email and wherever your friends and family may be. Here’s the link to that:

Just like Dora, Eli the Explorer needs your help!

Thanks!!

Eli

P.S. Borsht no swiping, Borsht no swiping! Oh man!

I was watching Pixar’s UP the other day. What a brilliant movie! Great characters, amazing concept, such funny dialogue and perfect mix of music, laughs and adventure. And I thought to myself (a little jealously), as the credits rolled, that they probably had conference meetings on each and every scene, involving lots of people. “OK folks, let’s meet in the main conference room on minute #56. It’ll be our third meeting on minute 56 this month.” How can one author compete against a legion of creators? He can’t.

What I’m getting at is that thousands of people and millions of dollars go into one piece of…art. Yes, art. Movies have become our age’s premier art form. Paintings aside, books aside, even CDs aside. The movie bulldozes over all. In a way, the movie contains those three things (visual images, storyline and dialogue, music) and it surpasses them. These days, one of the greatest measures of success of an author is if his or her book gets made into a movie. That is the highest compliment. And the top artists around the world are connected to the movie business in some way. They know that this is where the big players play these days.

Is this a bad thing? Well, it’s a natural thing that the world changes, and this is part of that change. It doesn’t mean that books, or painting, or music are dead. Far from it. But it does mean that we have to recognize the place that movies have taken in the grand history art. They are now on center stage. And the movie is an art form that is a collaboration of the efforts of so many people – in a way that’s a beautiful thing.

What is the next art form? Is it a reality art form where each person acts out his own art in a sort of virtual world? Is it something that has to do with the mind and less than with the eye and ear? Time will tell. As an author, I hope it’s something in which I can take part. As a human being, I hope it’s something awesome.

We’ve had it, bugs.

I’m serving you notice that we, humankind, (and plenty of animals too) are fed up with you. From this day onward you are unwelcome on this planet, or any future human colonies in the greater solar system area.

You have two days to get off this ball of dirt, because there isn’t room here for the both of us. If not, we humanoids will find a way to get back at you for all the misery you have caused us. Do you hear me?

Now some may say that there are certain types of you that actually help us, like bacteria in our stomachs that help us digest our food. Well in that case, the good bacteria get to stay, but only on condition that they sign a no-mutation agreement.

I want to extend a special threat to the streptococci — you guys are finished. When we finally figure out a way to deal with you, it ain’t going to be pretty.

Oh, and when we’re done with all you bugs, we humans are going to throw a party. A darn big party. And we’re going to share drinks.

This also works for single people:

When you find yourself watching the 28th episode of Tom Dickson’s Will it Blend? on Youtube at 3:30 in the morning, you pull an Anakin and do to your PC or mobile device what Darth Vader did to the Emperor at the end of Return of the Jedi.

Haven’t done that yet.

But watch out, PC.

And may the force be with us.

Let’s face it, many of us are addicted to the Internet. I know I am. If we’re not already plugged into our iPhones (that’s not me yet, thankfully), then at least we’re making a bee line for our email, Facebook, and favorite sites when we get home from work (instead of playing with our kids and spending time with our spouse), staying up late at night after everyone’s in bed watching movies on youtube, or wasting time at work looking stuff up that isn’t remotely work-related.

Hey, the Internet is great. It lets us keep up with friends across oceans, stay abreast of the news, find out about a plethora of great things, and basically be plugged into a whole new world. But if that being plugged in means that we’re always plugged in, or plugged in so much that we ignore our real live friends and family, who need us to be there for them every day, or even our physical selves, shirking exercise, work, sleep and hygiene so that we can be online more than is good for us….then it sucks.

That said, it’s sooo addictive. So how do you kick the habit? Well, what’s good about the Internet and computers in general as an addiction is that it’s really easy to set up a system where your usage is very limited. That’s right, you can easily hand over the keys to someone else. You do need to live with or near other people (haven’t thought out how to do this if you live alone yet), but basically, you give the password to your computer (or dialup connection) to your wife, roommate, parents, neighbor, or whichever responsible unaddicted person lives nearby, and they only log you on when they’re convinced that a) it’s for a good reason, like work b) it’s at a normal time, like during the day or evening. That’s right. At 9PM, they log off, and you can’t get back on until morning. They create or change the password, of course, and you never get to see it.

Has this worked for me? Yes. I’m still addicted, in theory. But my usage has been significantly limited, and I was the one who handed over the keys (so I feel like I initiated the solution – that’s important). There are times that I’m just itching to get online, but I can’t – I’m locked out. And then half an hour later, I’m so happy and grateful that I’m not online and that I’m reading a book to my kids, playing basketball with my wife, or even washing the dishes instead. And that I’m going to sleep before 11 PM most nights. Well, 11:30 PM.

But not 2 AM.

And that makes all the difference.